hi. i’m back, b.

– with a lot of random thoughts. as per usual.

there’s nothing like sleeping semi-early and still feeling tired when i get up and ready for work. i must not have slept well. over the last few weeks i’ve been tossing and turning in bed.

there are a lot of things unraveling in my mind. i’ve been feeling a little more anxious than usual when i think about my future and my happiness. it’s a weird feeling ~ to not be really sure if what you’re doing is making you happy. i’m beginning to wonder if this is what the rest of my life is going to be. anyways ~~

i’ve been thinking about relationships a lot more these days. having a birthday made me refocus on that topic but only because i’ve been thinking about dating and getting older – whether i want to start or not. am i ready? how does one really know the answer to that. to be quite frank – i don’t think i’m ready because i enjoy/love the fact that i am not involved with anyone. i don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings. i don’t have to worry about my own feelings re: the other person. i know that dating/meeting people isn’t easy but really…i just don’t have the patience or the brain capacity to get to know or worry about another person.

this is just a snippet of what’s been rolling back and forth in my mind. i haven’t really been able to sit down, focus and write. in other words my creative juices have been at a standstill. they’re even at a standstill in the kitchen (i’ve been half grilling chicken or pork and throwing that on top of a handful of spinach and maaaaaybe throwing in some tofu) it’s so boring. i got an Instapot from my parents for my bday so maybe i’ll fiddle around with that and continue my food craving posts. i also just realized that i really want to stick with my plan of cooking all of chrissy teigen’s recipes from cravings BEFORE i get the second book. I might been look into ayesha curry’s cookbook. everything looks delicious!

i’m sitting on my personal computer at work work typing away my thoughts during my lunch break. i’ve had a couple drafts saved of topics i really want to talk about. hopefully i’ll review them and finally hit that publish button. soon.

hopefully.

xx/jack